Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Unbroken - for Barry in Portland, who lives outside (An excerpt)

Barry called one winter evening, months after our first conversation, and although I was literally closing up the office for the day, I felt compelled to ask him a question that had been on my mind since our early chats, when he first called to ask me to convey a message to "the good Professor Chomsky." “Barry, since it's so hard to outside when the weather is unbearable, have you ever thought of trying to find funding for a subsidized apartment?  You never mention going into a shelter for the night.”

Barry said, “I don’t like to spend time in a shelter,but sometimes I do if it’s one of those really cold nights.”  I heard a note of panic in his otherwise calm voice. “It makes me feel penned in and jailed.  I would rather stay outside.”

“But isn’t it impossible to keep warm outside in winter?”

“Oh,” he said, sounding pleased with himself, “remember that I have this very warm coat.  A couple of weeks ago someone in my church asked me if I wanted it, but I said no, as I thought someone else might have left it by mistake and might come back for it. Well, I was down in the basement later on that day, sweeping the floor, and there it was! Someone had thrown it in the trash!  So I figured it was just meant to be mine!”

“But I have to admit I was pretty cold without that coat. Why, sometime, I don’t know, I think last month, or maybe three weeks ago, let’s see, well, anyway, I was so cold, I was shivering and shivering, and I shivered so hard that a piece of my tooth came off right in my mouth.  I spit it out and wrapped it in some paper and put it in my backpack, and thought I would take it to the nice dentist down the street who sometimes works on my teeth for free.  Once I got a cleaning, and the next time a root canal and a crown.  Can you believe it?”

I said I really thought that was amazing, and I meant it.

“I don’t have a lot of teeth, having not brushed, being homeless and all,” he said, “so it isn’t going to add up to all that much. Can you believe it Bev, she knows I can’t pay her, but she works on my teeth anyhow!”  Barry giggled like a girl to think of his good fortune.

I teetered forward and realized I was holding my breath again.  I took off my coat, gave Roxy a pat with the promise of "just another minute," and sat down at my work table to give Barry a little more of my time. I imagined that when our phone call ended, he might have to leave the warmth of the building he was calling from, though it's hard to say which of us is most uncomfortable about his living outside.

I talked with Barry today.  He's sleeping inside this week, and I'm grateful for that.

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